April 28,2011

So very tired today. Didn't get much sleep last night because I couldn't get comfortable. Haven't napped yet today because of severe storm warning and tornado watch issued for this area. Wanted to try and get a couple of errands done today but that's not gonna happen. Exhausted with too much time on my hands does not make for a good combination. My fears dealing with this pregnancy is starting to get the best of me now. Worried about babies growth, delivery date, where I'll end up delivering, making sure the house will be ready for the babies to come home too and the biggest worry right now is if I can remain pregnant the few more weeks it will take to give the babies a fighting chance at survival. Everytime I feel the babies move it's a little reassuring but when it's getting close to attend another ultrasound appt I worry that they are gonna find something wrong. My anxiety level sky rockets. I usually don't let it show except around Nick and even then only minimal. I do my best to remain calm and try not to get too emotional because I don't want anything jeapordizing the welfare of these growing LOs. I'm so thankful for having my dog to keep me company during the day because she watches over me like a hawk. I know I should socialize and see friends or let friends come see me but I don't want to have to deal with putting on a front. I don't want people thinking that I'm more neurotic than I really am so I don't want people to see how scared I am and I don't want hide what I'm feeling too often. Storm seems to have moved on so I'm gonna try to nap. If I can get some sleep I might blog again later.